Quotes

Quotes from today:

"I am sorry I am late Ms. Schmidt, I was breaking pencils on my forehead.  Watch!"  (5th grader, SC)

"Have you ever watched that classic movie, I Love Lucy?"  (4th grader, RA)

"Oh, that is the sprinkler, that was soooo 1990."  (4th grader, JB)

3 boys are walking together--2 Hispanic, 1 Black.  Hispanic boy was talking about going to a banquet tonight with the other two and turns to me and says "You are not invited to come because you are not Mexican."  Um..... 

"Ms. Schmidt, when I close my eyes, all I see are zombies."  He then proceeds to close his eyes and start pretending to shake. 

Max......grrrrr

So this lovely Saturday morning, I woke up of course at 5:30a.m.  and could not fall asleep.  This is unusual because during the work week, I usually never want to wake up.  So I went to take Max out to go to the bathroom.

I went to put him on the WIRE tie-out that I have in my back yard and I went to see what the wind damaged last night.  Well immediately, Max saw our neighbor and went chasing after him.  I then went chasing after Max where I ran through the neighbor dog poop and it squished between my toes.



I now need to go back to bed.

MI2 (My Idiot 2)

I need to fill in a bit of background knowledge before this next story.  I have had this aide this year who is, lets say, "technologically challenged."  She has had some trouble with email, printing, word processor, turning on computers, and using google.  I have tried to be patient with her inexperience, however after showing someone how to bold a word over five times, my patience is done. But, I digress. 

The past two days, the school email service has not worked.  The tech coordinator has been on the phone constantly for two days trying to figure out the problem.  No one seemed to know what the problem was because no other schools were having this problem.  Today, my aide gets a phone message saying she needs to call the tech coordinator.  Come to find out, someone had hacked into her email and started spamming, thus overloading the system and crashing the server.  The woman who cannot use word processor crashed a server.....now that is talent.

I discussed with her how yes, this happens and it just means she needs to make her email password stronger.  Her response, "oh so I should not leave it on the default of 911--the password everyone is given at the beginning of the year?"  **Face Palm**

Bomb threat

The custodian was outside mowing yesterday and saw a Wal-Mart bag with several half empty pop bottles inside of it.  He immediately called the principal, who panicked, and called the School Resource Officer.  He came out to investigate before calling the bomb squad because people at school were starting to think it was a suspicious bag and with everything else that has gone on in society lately, they were not taking any chances. 

Well, the officer came to check it out and came inside the building a few minutes asking if anyone had done a science experiment with Coke and Mentos.  We said yes, but we had cleaned up the mess that we had outside.  He then brought us outside and sure enough, the "bomb" was instead our science experiment.  Thank goodness he had asked us before calling in the bomb squad.

Daredevil

The 5th graders have taken the last few afternoons to work on science experiments.  One afternoons was Water Bottle Rockets.  Those were a bit of a flub considering I only got one to explode and the water completely drenched me. 

So, the teachers decided that it would be a great idea the following day to do the experiment of Cola and Mentos.  So of course, me being an idiot volunteered to be the one placing the mentos into the bottles.  Annnnnddd what happened--I was drenched again, this time with Cola.  I was a sticky mess.  After the experiment was done, the kids start chanting for one of the teachers to drink the soda.  Personally, I did not understand the thrill so one of the other teachers jokingly poured soda in my mouth and the kids went wild.

Of course the kids all wanted to know what it tasted like--because you know that putting mentos in cola will change the taste drastically?  One of the other students (JM) came up to me and was just in awe.  "Ms. Schmidt, what did that taste like?  I just am shocked."  My response was "Flat pop?"  He responds back with "Ms. Schmidt--you are just such a daredevil."  Hahaha!!!  LOVE IT!

Schmato

The kids have taken to giving me all kids of crazy nicknames because of my last name (granted, I may have instigated several of these.)  The latest is that I have a group of kids that all have nicknames that are foods?  It all started because of one boy having the last name of Walker.  SC decided that Walker rhymed with Waffles so that would be a great nickname for him.  Then SC is now syrup and the list goes on.  Thus causing them to now name me Schmato--because that makes perfect sense?

Today, the boys came in and started talking about "wrestling" and how syrup is going to flow all over the waffles.....I am not sure if I am teaching Kindergarten or 5th grade.

Things you never want to hear while teaching....

My fourth grade group came into my classroom today, and had a ton of exciting things to tell me about before we started the lesson.  I always give them a few minutes to ask all of their questions, so then we can get down to business. 

One of the first questions that was asked by my bi-lingual boys was "How do babies eat while they are inside their mother's stomachs?"  Now this question was completely unexpected. There was no context for their question nor a reason for it.  Before I could even get the words out of my mouth (because I was in utter shock), one of the other girls tells them "Well they are fed by a wire that is connected from the mother to the child." 

This seemed to pacify the boy and then the follow up question to this was "Well, how to the babies get out of the mothers tummy?"  At this point, I was about to just give up answering anything and just get them into the lesson, however the boys had other plans.  Another boy proceeds to answer that the child is ripped out of the mothers stomach.  "That seems like it would hurt a lot, I am sure glad I cannot have babies, cause you know Ms. Schmidt, I am a boy."  "Yes, thank you JV, I did not realize that..."  Sigh, can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.